Author: Matt Landing

I observed that the people who seemed to have the deepest, most profound experiences in meditation were often people who were not stable emotionally. Similarly, the people who had the ability to see auras were usually people who didn’t have both feet on the ground.

When people hear of flashy spiritual experiences that they themselves are not having, they might become envious or dispirited. I would like to change their attitude so they feel fortunate that they are stable. I think they should feel sorry for people who have flashy experiences, and they should feel sorry for people who are seeking flashy experiences.

I reckon that the highest human experience is just feeling good. Flashy experiences in meditation and flashy celestial-type experiences in activity might seem nice, but I think that there will be hell to pay later. Flashy experiences and peak experiences often come to people who are not stable mentally, emotionally, or physically.

Larry Wardwell shared a similar observation in his book, Confessions of a Closet Yogi. Larry wrote: “After years of listening to people on these long rounding courses get up to the microphone and tell Maharishi and the audience about some truly astonishing experiences, I noticed that some of the folks who had the celestial visions and very clear experience of being at one with the universe were not the most stable or integrated individuals I had ever met.”

Immediately after seeing an afternoon matinee of the 1983 movie, Terms of Endearment, I had one of the deepest, most profound meditations of my life. This movie was a tear-jerker, and I now hypothesize that my emotional swings during the movie primed me to have a flashy experience in meditation. Apparently, going through swings of emotion made my experience seem more profound.

Here’s another example of a flashy experience during an emotionally trying time: A meditator was crestfallen while a family member was on his deathbed. When the meditator looked at her hand, she saw light beaming out the ends of her fingertips.

Some people who are having flashy spiritual experiences are urgently seeking enlightenment and not leading a balanced life.

Some other people who have so-called flashy spiritual experiences may have an unhealthy, delicate physiology unrelated to spiritual practices or desires, but their physiology is conducive to flashy experiences.

Conclusion

I think that flashy spiritual experiences and kundalini crises are signs of ill health.

Subjective experiences are not always what they seem. For example, some people are in mental hospitals because they think they are God.

Sometimes subjective experiences are good for self-esteem and confidence, but if the experiences are delusional the negative repercussions will outweigh the positive aspects.

My blog post on 22 enlightenment experiences offers more examples of the type of people who are more likely to have flashy spiritual experiences.

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I am coining two phrases to clarify why some people who are having a kundalini crisis can become gurus while others having a kundalini crisis do not become gurus. Delusions, euphoria, over-confidence, and excited mental states are symptoms of psychotic mania and are also common symptoms of a kundalini crisis.

I am using the phrase “guru maniac” to describe a person who along with having delusions of grandiosity during a kundalini crisis also happens to have the charisma, the gift of gab, and the ability to carry out a tactical strategy to attract followers. Most guru maniacs have an uncommon intellectual ability which they use to impress potential followers.

The phrase “spiritual maniac” describes a person who is different from a guru maniac. A spiritual maniac has delusions of grandiosity related to a kundalini crisis, but doesn’t have the necessary traits mentioned above to become a guru.

A spiritual maniac is more likely to end up in a mental hospital whereas a guru maniac can talk themselves out of just about any predicament.

I did not possess the charisma or eloquence to become a guru maniac, but even I flirted with the possibility of becoming a guru when I had my kundalini crisis. I had the manic symptom of over-confidence.

Since a guru maniac has the lexicon of spiritual literature, he likely sees his kundalini crisis as being a legitimate higher state of consciousness. Thinking that one is enlightened is grandiose thinking.

A guru maniac has the ability to master the enormous quantity of intellectual blather that has accumulated in religions and yogic traditions over centuries. Being able to speak about the mishmash of ancient wisdom allows a guru maniac to speak with credibility and authority.

Whereas most psychotic maniacs may have friends, family, and medical doctors letting the psychotic maniac know that they are delusional, guru maniacs probably do not have anyone telling them they are delusional.

Instead the followers of a guru maniac legitimatize the grandiosity that the guru maniac sees in himself. And the guru maniac sees his grandiose self-esteem validated through his own interpretations of spiritual literature.

If a guru maniac could see that his thoughts were grandiose delusions, he would lose his towering self-worth, but a guru maniac is unlikely to recognize his own delusions. A guru maniac is totally convinced of his own status because his manic mind, as if, illumined his thoughts a thousand times more than normal and imprinted his memories a thousand times more deeply than normal.

As time passes, guru maniacs adapt physiologically and mentally to their kundalini crisis. They are able to have one foot in their grandiose delusion and one foot in the world shared with other people.

Guru maniacs learn to keep some of their delusions to themselves in order to keep themselves presentable to followers. Guru maniacs walk the line between hiding their innermost thoughts and sharing their grandiose ideas about themselves.

It is easy to understand how guru maniacs enjoy having followers who not only adore them, but are also willing to serve them. Having followers must be the ultimate pick-me-up. Guru maniacs eat up the attention and the power of having followers.

Like celebrities and powerful people, guru maniacs have often abused followers related to money, sex, and power. Abuse from guru maniacs is particularly maddening because guru maniacs espouse spiritual principles that are supposed to aid moral living.

I propose that after a guru maniac easily receives respect, admiration, and service from followers, the guru maniac can lose his moral compass. The guru maniac starts to think that he can do anything.

Conclusion

Guru maniacs at least imply that they are enlightened. Enlightenment is the greatest spiritual incentive of all time, but there is no proof that a state of enlightenment exists.

Guru maniacs act like they know what they are doing when they are really flying by the seat of their pants.

A kundalini crisis is an overwhelming spiritual experience that often results in delusions, over-confidence, and excited mental states which are all common symptoms of mania. Guru maniacs have hoodwinked themselves and their followers. They deserve to be called guru maniacs.

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Some people like to compare psychedelic experiences to meditation/yogic experiences to legitimatize the use of psychedelics. However, this assumes that spiritual experiences from meditation/yoga are always healthy experiences. I am not willing to concede that spiritual experiences or psychedelic experiences are healthy.

In November 1971, I took my first step to become a spiritual seeker while in the library at my university. I started reading a book written by Theodore X. Barber that was entitled, LSD, Marihuana, Yoga, and Hypnosis. I was interested in knowing about drug experiences.

I was very intrigued with Barber’s opinion that although LSD may be a way to a higher knowledge of God and reality, these experiences would be a shock that could not be easily integrated into one’s life. Barber wrote that yoga was a way to gradually build oneself up to have the same sort of experiences so that they could be integrated into one’s life.

Before reading Barber’s book, I was a naïve, youthful agnostic. After reading it, I was a naïve seeker of God and meaningful life experiences. I became interested in meditation.

Barber’s comments about a divine shock from using drugs make sense. However, many people practicing meditation and yoga have also experienced shock from a kundalini crisis that disrupts their lives and that sometimes leads to the mental hospital. Go to my kundalini page to read accounts of kundalini crises that disrupted lives for years.

Psychedelic and kundalini episodes can be over-whelming experiences for the mind and body. Thoughts that come during those episodes are, as if, illumined 1000 times more than normal and imprinted in memory 1000 times more deeply than normal. They can do much more than just rock the boat of life.

The underlying physiology of psychedelic episodes and kundalini crises is probably similar to the physiology of psychotic mania that underlies euphoria and the grandiose delusions involving God and other spiritual themes. That doesn’t seem like something that one should aim for.

Using psychedelics is playing with fire. Extreme spiritual practices are also playing with fire.

Conclusion

The benefits of LSD, DMT, psychedelic mushrooms, and extreme spiritual practices are not worth the risks.

Feeling good in life is great! Arranging your life to feel good is much safer than shooting for the moon with psychedelics, meditation, or other attempts to awaken kundalini.

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It is natural to want to be great in one’s own eyes and in the eyes of others. There may be lots of people who secretly have a grandiose opinion of themselves. This concept is humorously depicted in photos of a kitten that sees itself as a lion when looking into a mirror.

Isn’t the desire to excel closely related to the desire to be great? Aren’t politicians, athletes, artists, teachers, farmers, lawyers, tool makers, mothers, fathers, and yogis harboring a desire to be recognized as being at the top level of greatness?

According to an article entitled “Grandiose Delusions” by R. Knowles in a 2011 issue of Clinical Psychology Review, over 10% of healthy people experience grandiose thoughts but do not meet full delusional criteria. If healthy people have grandiose thoughts, I suspect that people in a kundalini crisis would comparatively have SUPER-grandiose thoughts.

Enlightenment and union with God are grandiose ideas

Most, if not all, people having a kundalini crisis are at least familiar with spiritual knowledge. They are steeped in ideas of God being inside them, that enlightenment is a possibility for everyone, and that they would be a great person if they were enlightened.

Grandiose thoughts during a kundalini crisis

People in a kundalini crisis have thoughts that are, as if, 1000 times more powerful than normal thoughts, and therefore they can have very powerful grandiose thoughts. And it is not surprising that the mind would steer grandiose thoughts in the direction of familiar spiritual images and concepts.

In the overwhelming experience of a kundalini crisis, one could latch onto yogic explanations for sensations in the areas of brain, spine, and chakras. The sensations and subsequent thoughts would be intense and would seemingly validate kundalini theory related to the chakras and the channels of the Sushumna, Ida, and Pingala that are located along the spine according to kundalini theory.

Grandiose thoughts could contain elements of enlightenment, union with God, or all sorts of yogic achievements. I suspect that these thoughts are delusions, but it will be almost impossible to convince someone that they are delusions if he is in the mania of a kundalini crisis.

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Lots of people have noticed that the mania of psychotic disorders have many of the same symptoms as a kundalini crisis. Patients with psychotic mania have symptoms without doing spiritual practices, but people having a kundalini crisis seemed to have caused their mania by doing spiritual practices.

Some people have suggested that some patients diagnosed with psychotic mania could make significant progress towards enlightenment if they only had proper guidance. I disagree because there is no proof that a state of enlightenment even exists.

The mania from psychotic illness and the mania from a kundalini crisis are not normal mental states. A spiritual seeker in a kundalini crisis may have a better chance of coming out of mania relatively unscathed than a person with Bipolar Disorder, but both often have the symptoms of grandiose delusions, euphoria, over-confidence, and excited mental states.

Mania is a mixture of good and bad symptoms, but the bad symptoms of delusions and excited mental states greatly outweigh the good symptoms of confidence and increased energy.

Mania is mania is mental illness

I propose that the mania from psychotic illness and the mania from a kundalini crisis should both be considered mental illnesses.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him give up his delusion

I think that there are some aspects of the manic mind which make the mind impenetrable by logic and evidence. Like an uncooperative horse that refuses to drink, the manic mind doesn’t even come close to accepting contrary logic and evidence.

To a manic person, delusions are so real that he could not even consider any other reality. To a manic person, there is no need to consider another point of view because he implicitly trusts his own experience.

Manic delusions can seem real even years after they first occur.

The lingering after-effects of delusions seem similar to “flashbulb memories” which are highly detailed, exceptionally vivid snapshots of the moment and circumstances in which a piece of surprising and consequential (or emotionally arousing) news was heard.

Some examples of flashbulb memories are that people can remember details of where they were when they first heard about traumatic events like the assassination of John F. Kennedy or the 9/11 terrorist attacks.

Like flashbulb memories, grandiose delusions make a very deep mental impression, and those impressions have a tendency to hang around in the mindset of a maniac for a long time.

The mind during a manic episode, as if, illumines thoughts a thousand times more than normal and imprints memories a thousand times more deeply than normal. So it is really not much of a surprise that the manic ecstasy of enlightenment or the manic vision of God cannot be supplanted and that the memory of that delusion is life-altering.

Delusions during a kundalini crisis

When I hear of someone who had a spiritual vision or of someone who thinks that they are enlightened, I immediately think they probably had a grandiose delusion during a kundalini crisis. Besides myself, I provide other examples in my book of people who seem to have had grandiose delusions.

When a person who has a strong desire for enlightenment has a kundalini crisis, he will have a truly, formidable delusion. His grandiose thoughts will meld with his intellectual knowledge of enlightenment and yoga. Good luck convincing that person that he is not enlightened!

There are aspects of delusions during a kundalini crisis that build up the self-esteem and self-identity of the person. If a maniac were to realize his thoughts were delusions, he would have to go from being on top of the world to having the disgrace of mental illness. Of course, maniacs don’t want to give up their grandiose delusions.

Avoid the roads leading to a kundalini crisis

I have major differences of opinion with most (or perhaps all) other commenters on kundalini, but I do agree with those who recognize the danger that things could go awry when doing spiritual practices.

I found these statements on the internet: “Beware of what you are about to unleash within you!” and “If the kundalini is awakened without suitable preparation and guidance, it can also be associated with debilitation, insanity, breakdown of the immune system, and prolonged spiritual pain and suicide.”

I want to sound an alarm for anyone who may be hoping to have a kundalini crisis in order to take a major step to enlightenment. A kundalini crisis is as dangerous as the mania of other psychotic illnesses. If you doubt that, read the experiences on my kundalini webpage.

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My self-esteem and optimism were very high when I started Transcendental Meditation in 1972. I had new spiritual experiences in TM, I noticed benefits in activity, and a whole new vista of possibilities opened up when I learned about Cosmic Consciousness and enlightenment.

My self-esteem remained high when I went on TM residence courses. I had the mentality that I could pop into enlightenment at any time so it was an exciting time.

My self-esteem dropped very low for one day on the TM-Sidhis course. I expected to get some results from practicing the TM-Sidhis. For example, when I practiced the siddhi on friendliness or the siddhi on the strength of an elephant, I expected to at least experience some flavor of the siddhi. I was bummed when I didn’t experience anything other than the normal feeling of being in a deep meditative state. Therefore, I thought that I may be far away from enlightenment, and that bummed me out!

When I hopped while practicing the TM-Sidhi technique on levitation, my self-esteem soared. When I returned to my home town after the TM-Sidhis course, I felt special being a TM-Sidha which was something others couldn’t even comprehend.

As years passed, my self-esteem came down a little when I became aware that I still wasn’t enlightened after doing regular meditation and lots of residence courses for two decades. I thought I might still be far from being enlightened so I doubled down in attempts to get to enlightenment.

When I had my kundalini crisis in 1990, my self-esteem was 100 on a scale of 100! I was over-confident, and I thought I was enlightened, and  I had a special relationship with God.

When I realized my supposed enlightenment was actually a grandiose delusion, my self-esteem tumbled. Self-esteem adjusts dramatically when your self-assessment changes from being enlightened to having the mania of psychotic illness! These adjustments took me at least 10 years because I gave up different aspects of the delusion bit by bit. Also I avoided thinking about my kundalini crisis.

I gave up the premise of enlightenment over 15 years ago. Instead of seeking enlightenment, I now seek to feel good. Feeling good is great! And I have a lot of that.

Self-esteem is important for mental and physical health. I obtain a substantial part of my self-esteem from everyday accomplishments and from having come through a kundalini crisis.

For 18 years, I gave my all to become enlightened. After 1990, I began to suspect that enlightenment could be a false myth. In writing my book, my self-esteem grew some more as I pieced together a fairly comprehensive analysis on how I and others have been wrong about enlightenment and kundalini.

It will be difficult for spiritual seekers to change their mind about enlightenment. It will be difficult, but I think it will be worthwhile. Self-esteem will rebound.

How to go from spiritual mindset to terrestrial mindset
After realizing that euphoria and other peak experiences do not indicate that one is growing to higher states of consciousness, it will take time to come to terms and to change one’s mindset.

It is not a small thing to question a spiritual teaching, the guru, or the nature of one’s previous experiences. How can you extract yourself from a way of living that you have been immersed in for a long time? How can you have any self-esteem left when a major part of your prior self-esteem came from being on a spiritual path?

It will take courage to change the status quo, persistence to trudge through uncomfortable territory, and optimism that your future can be better.

Here are some of my ideas on how to change your mindset:

1. I suggest distracting yourself in the simple activities of daily living. This will get you away from the grim, heavy thought processes of coming to terms with why you are changing your approach to living.
2. Don’t dwell on the shenanigans of the guru and the spiritual movement from which you came.
3. Get practical everyday experience under your belt so you will know that you can live successfully having a new mindset. You can experience triumph every time you do something without thinking about spirituality whether it be just doing the dishes or just taking a walk. You can experience triumph when you realize you have gone for longer and longer periods of time without thinking about spirituality.
4. Gravitate towards friends who are grounded and/or not in the spiritual movement. Give an honest excuse to former friends that you are taking a mental health break or that you are going to get more balance into your life.
5. Instead of getting your self-esteem from being on a spiritual path, raise your self-esteem by realizing that you are going to persist in a very difficult transition to a practical, terrestrial life.
6. If you need help, seek help from family, friends, and/or professionals.

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What seems more plausible?

• Humans are continually reincarnated until they sufficiently awaken their kundalini energy center to be enlightened.

• Humans are one of many life-forms on Earth after 3.5 billion years of evolution of life.

I doubt if anyone will want to combine the above choices in order to argue that humans evolved to be enlightened because then they would have to consider that ferns, fish, and ferrets could also become enlightened.

I choose evolution as being more plausible. Then why would so many people spend so much of their lives trying to become enlightened?

The concept of enlightenment has to be the most effective spiritual incentive of all time!  Enlightenment enticed me and millions to go to the ends of the earth.

After starting a spiritual journey, I think that meditators and religious people have misinterpreted experiences as being symptomatic of a kundalini awakening or other metaphysical attainments. I suspect that eventually there will be better scientific explanations for these experiences than kundalini or metaphysics.

Subjective experiences are probably not the best way to understand what is going on during a kundalini crisis and kundalini syndrome. Delusions, excited mental states, and over-confidence are symptoms of a kundalini crisis and don’t make for reliable subjective experiences.

Kundalini theory focuses mainly on the spine and brain areas. There can be other theories for subjective experience that do not involve a kundalini energy center but do relate to the function of the brain, spine, and nerves.

Evolution didn’t shape us for meditation

In 200,000 years of hunter-gatherer evolution, humans have been shaped to be suited for certain types of activity. We can imagine that the brain and spinal functioning were shaped in a certain way with an extremely complex basis of neurotransmitters and other sophisticated mechanisms.

Our brains and spinal cords were not shaped through evolution to withstand intense desire for enlightenment, to spend hours meditating, to spend hours thinking about spiritual topics, and to be devoted to gurus or deities.

What might happen to a hunter-gatherer who meditates a lot? Is it possible that there would be a mixture of some good experiences and some bad experiences? Is it possible that some people would have mania, headaches, spinal pain, and unusual experiences? Is it possible that people would misinterpret experiences and therefore continue to shoot themselves in the foot? Would meditating a lot overload the brain and spine of a hunter-gatherer?

I suspect that meditators and overly-religious people are ungrounded because they spend too much time in spiritual activities instead of the terrestrial-type activities to which mankind has adapted.

I also suspect that chasing a peak experience in an attempt to make it permanent is a fool’s errand.

I think that just feeling good is great! Enjoying your current mind-body state is a better use of life than yearning for something that has never been proven to exist.

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Kriyas

Definition of kriya: spontaneous body movements thought to be related to a release of kundalini energy. The movements could be small muscle twitches, violent jerks, shaking, muscle cramps, or spontaneous vocalizations.

Many spiritual movements consider kriyas to be indicative of spiritual progress, but the Transcendental Meditation movement never directly addressed kriyas despite the dramatic kriyas that occurred when TM meditators started practicing the TM-Sidhis. TM teachers also had kriyas during and after some of the first TM teacher training courses that had unlimited rounding.

Boy, did I have kriyas! When I meditated prior to learning the TM-Sidhis, sometimes my head would shake, sometimes my head would snap back and remain locked way back, and sometimes my whole back would arch and remain locked in an arched position. I also occasionally had tight clenching of my eyes during meditation which made me worry about hurting my eyes.

After I learned the TM-Sidhi on levitation, I had even more types of kriyas. Sometimes my hands and arms would move like slow Tai Chi movements, and sometimes I had vocalizations of nonsense syllables.

The standard explanation for kriyas is that the kundalini energy at the base of the spine is awakened, and this causes physical movements as the kundalini energy moves through the body. Kundalini energy was supposed to prepare the body for enlightenment, and that same kundalini energy was supposed to be part and parcel of enlightenment.

Even Christian Charismatics have kriyas. There is a hilarious YouTube video put to a Jerry Lee Lewis tune that shows the gyrations/kriyas of Charismatic Christians. The video is entitled “Whole Lotta Shakin’ Goin’ On! Holy Roller Style!” and is at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWVHpm49tOU.

So that I am not seen to only be making fun of Charismatic Christians, I will link to another YouTube videos showing kriyas from the shaktipat of a guru at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-pCix0vb5E&t=2s . Here’s another video showing and explaining kriyas https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_SHZjgVrhBU .

In my opinion, even the hopping during the TM-Sidhi on levitation is scratching an “itch” (which seems to be a pretty big “itch”). I don’t think hopping has anything to do with a preliminary stage of floating or levitation. I think hopping is a kriya.  A 44-second video of hopping with TM organization’s narrative.

(I have another blog post that has descriptions of enlightenment experiences from 22 people. The person named Enlightened #15 had some very interesting kriyas.)

Hypnic jerks

In My Enlightenment Delusion, I state that I think that kriyas and hypnic jerks are basically the same thing. A hypnic jerk is an involuntary twitch which occurs just as a person is beginning to fall asleep. Hypnic jerks resemble the jump experienced by a person when startled. Over 50% of people experience hypnic jerks.

Myoclonus is the medical term for a brief involuntary muscle twitch. Hypnic jerks and hiccups are both myoclonic jerks. I suspect that kriyas could also be categorized as myoclonic jerks.

Modern science has not solved or understood tics, hypnic jerks, and hiccups. It doesn’t seem likely that science will bother researching kriyas.

Tics

Tics also seem to be similar to the jerky type of kriyas.

The following internet excerpt comes from https://sciencebasedmedicine.org/chiropractic-research-on-tourette-syndrome-the-trouble-with-case-reports/ .  What I find interesting in the following paragraph is that tics exist in the “grey area between voluntary and involuntary”.

“The Tourette syndrome tic

The most recognizable feature of TS is the tic. These are sudden, short-lived and seemingly random movements or vocalizations which exist in the grey area between voluntary and involuntary. By that I mean that although they are generally considered involuntary, and they certainly can take patients by surprise, tics can typically be suppressed voluntarily and patients can learn to use purposeful and less socially awkward movements to dissipate the premonitory urge universally described by patients with the condition. Think of it as a sort of internal itch, maddening at times, that only certain movements or vocalizations can scratch. It is a near constant source of frustration and annoyance in many patients with TS.

Tics can be simple movements, such as eye blinking, grimacing, or jerking of the head and neck, or surprisingly complex behaviors, even ritualistic. They can be violent or subtle, easy to conceal or extremely disruptive.  Vocalizations follow a similar pattern of simple and more complex noises. Grunting, throat clearing, and sniffing are extremely common but the most widely known form, thanks to a number of misleading characterizations of TS in movies and on television for comic effect, is that of coprolalia. This symptom of TS, which occurs in ten to forty percent of cases, involves the involuntary utterance of obscene words. Of note copropraxia, when complex motor tics take the form of obscene gestures, is also not uncommon.”

Grey areas

That “gray area between voluntary and involuntary” also seems in play for some kriyas and some hypnic jerks. With kriyas and hypnic jerks, one can feel the buildup of some kind of energy or urge. Purposeful movement seems to dissipate, delay, or avoid kriyas and hypnic jerks.

The “gray area between voluntary and involuntary” was apparent when I was instructed in the TM-Sidhi on levitation. In the first few days of “hopping”, many TM teachers had spontaneous vocalizations of screams, barks, and nonsense syllables. Later on in the course, the loud vocalizations lessened after course leaders repeatedly instructed that it wasn’t necessary to make noise.

Perhaps my “Tai Chi-type” kriyas during meditation felt good and natural because they were dissipating some physiological “itch”. Perhaps the dancing of Christian Charismatics and others in religious services is a way to dissipate a physiological “itch”.

Conclusion

I don’t expect kundalini proponents to say that tics, Tourette’s, and hypnic jerks are due to an activation of kundalini so I wonder if kundalini proponents are embarrassed or concerned that many kriyas seem so similar. I also wonder if they will be willing to consider possible causes for kriyas other than kundalini.

On another day, I will write about the similarities between a kundalini crisis and psychotic mania. It seems that kundalini proponents have “some ‘splaining to do”.

Another blog post written by Matt about kriyas was added on September 8, 2021. Here’s the link Kriyas: are they a bug or a feature?

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A new webpage discussing kundalini has been added at https://myenlightenmentdelusion.wordpress.com/kundalini.